Grief and Loss Parenting

Together

You should see them.  The two of them, bundled under a blanket reading a book.  Big brother arm around little wide-eyed brother as they soak in a story together in the warmth of their friendship.  You should see them — the two of them — as they wrestle around and play made up games with rules only they know in the secrets of their brotherhood.

We used to be two.  Me and my sweet husband.  We had to wait to have our first.  When I heard I was pregnant there weren’t words or songs to describe my joy.  And several months later we found out about her.  Our niece in great need whom we had never met because of the lost and broken life of my husband’s brother.  And we took her in to be our own only three months after our first was born.  Together we committed to her.  And we were on the roller coaster together.  All four of us a brand-new family of strangers who meant the world to one another.

She left when her mom got it together and we were left just three.  And it never was the same and it wasn’t quite complete.

Grief leaves its marks and together we had to overcome that loss and make life enough again.

And six years later after the loss of our niece God gave us our second son.  My oldest said, “Sometimes God answers prayers slowly because, Mom, I’ve been praying for a baby brother or sister for two years.”  And in his then-six-year-old life that WAS slowly.  But God did answer. 

And together those boys just might conquer the world as they have surely conquered my heart.  They say “phileo” is brotherly love.  We have it in spades over here — and God is what holds us together.

Stop.  

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Ingrid Lochamire
    October 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM

    Beautiful! We have graduated a house full of phileo with four sons raised also in the Charlotte Mason method. What a delight to meet you here, on Five Minute Friday!

  • Reply
    gayle
    October 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM

    Wow. Two years. For a six year old. Many adults can't wait that long for God to answer! How amazing. Tears of joy!! Thank you for sharing, I am so encouraged by this!!

    Grief is a weird thing. It doesn't ever go away, just lies dormant for a while. Good thing we have a Creator who loves us SO MUCH that despite the fact that we are sinners, and sometimes cause our own pain (and sometimes not!), He meets our needs anyway. πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    HeartsHomeward
    October 24, 2013 at 9:58 PM

    Thanks, Gayle. It was such a lesson to me. At that time, my son being my first born, I was stressed over his "prayer life" because he didn't want to pray out loud with us. God showed me something beautiful that day when we told him I was pregnant. I learned in a much deeper place how God is at work in my son's life and heart and I don't always get to see that work. It made me trust God more with the things that really matter. I'm so glad you popped by and commented too πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    HeartsHomeward
    October 24, 2013 at 9:59 PM

    Yay! Charlotte Mason and four boys. Ingrid, I wish we could sit and have coffee or tea. I just know you would have much to teach me. Thank you for your comment.

  • Reply
    Ingrid Lochamire
    October 25, 2013 at 4:29 AM

    Me, too! Blessings on your journey.

  • Reply
    Mary Hill
    October 25, 2013 at 8:50 AM

    So sweet. I love seeing brothers together. Reading this makes me miss my two brothers. Thanks for sharing on Five Minute Friday.

    http://mary-anderingcreatively.blogspot.com
    http://maryanderingamongthepages.blogspot.com/

  • Reply
    HeartsHomeward
    October 25, 2013 at 10:19 AM

    Thank you, Mary. What a blessing that you have brothers who love one another — and your love for them is a blessing as well! I look forward to checking out your blog too πŸ™‚

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