I’m like you, a mom, going through the day to day of life, rearing my two boys through the highs and lows. I want what you want, to see my boys grow into manhood with a solid strength within and a bright future ahead. Over the past 15 years I’ve devoted myself to learning about parenting – sometimes out of desperation because I had come to the end of my cleverness and couldn’t get through some tough spot with one of my boys (or our foster daughter). The more I talked with other moms, the more experiences I had with parenting and the more I read, I realized the gaping need we all have for one another. We need wisdom to parent well. We need hearts healed and grounded in love. We need methods that work and philosophies that undergird why we do what we do.
A few years ago I was approached by a man I respect greatly to begin a complete overhaul of a book he had written for parents years ago. He wanted to rewrite the book to reach you – today’s parent. He had read my blog through a recommendation of a mutual friend and he wanted to privilege me with the opportunity of joining with him in shaping this message – these principles, the methods which actually bring positive results – to the parents who need them in this generation. We began collaborating over the phone regularly and over a period of two and a half years, we wrote the book. It is in the process of publication now. God used the experience of writing the book to teach me more about parenting than I ever expected. I have my Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, yet researching and writing this book gave me more knowledge and hands-on effective approaches than my professional training ever did.
Once the project was complete, I spent time considering you. I started thinking about parents I know and those I don’t. I thought of parents who are exasperated, trying to solve a specific issue or pattern in their child’s life while feeling they keep hitting the wall again and again. Wanting to get around the difficulty they face, they scramble for solutions, trying one thing after another, feeling perpetually frustrated at the seeming hopelessness.
I thought of parents who were raised in hurtful homes. People who lack the example and modeling of what it looks like to create a safe haven for their child often cannot pass on love and encouragement. These people often lack their own sense of worth and being loved. I see these parents everywhere. They scold and shame their children because, when push comes to shove, they fall back on what they know.
I considered the parents who have been swept into a group of friends or a church setting where everyone is using domineering and nearly abusive methods to make their children outwardly conform no matter what. I have known women who question the sanity of the methods they have adopted, but fear the rejection of their community and the loss of control over their children if they try another way.
Like these moms, you might be weary, wounded or following warped approaches. I want to give you a way out of your parenting struggles. You may not be in such a dire place. You may be doing well overall. Perhaps you simply have a question or two about what to expect in the teen years, how to cope with screens in your home, or ideas as to how to work together with your husband as you parent together. I have found through my own experience, research and time spent with hundreds of other moms answers that can help.
I’ve developed a survey for you to take. If you are willing to take two to five minutes to answer the five questions, I will send you my “avoiding power struggles in the home” tip sheet for free. This isn’t a gimmick, it’s just my way of thanking you for helping me better get a feel for the pulse of parenting so I know how to best write to meet your needs.
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